Guilty
by Birkastan2018
Summary: SasuSaku ItaIzu Non-Massacre AU A romance/fluff/humor piece involving a misplaced volume of Icha Icha, role play, confusion, and a heartfelt love kept under wraps... How long before everything goes down in a big pile of doodoo?
1. Not Great

**Author's Note:** Hi there, this was my first stab at writing fanfiction… and if it looks familiar, that's because I initially published Guilty a year ago and recently put it through a rewrite :)

Finally: **I OWN NOTHING. NARUTO AND ALL CHARACTERS RELATED TO THE FRANCHISE ARE OWNED BY MASASHI KISHIMOTO**.

* * *

Scaling the giant ginkgo tree shading the main house, Sasuke disabled the traps on his bedroom window and slid inside.

He'd be in trouble if his mother found out. The Uchiha matriarch was a stickler for manners, and required anyone coming in and out of her stately home to use the front door.

Still, her younger son decided today was worth the risk. Sasuke tried working his hair down into something manageable, and even applied that shitty antiseptic gel the reception desk had for visitors on his hands, hoping it would mask any incriminating scents.

Because one could never be too careful in a house full of elite ninjas. The last thing he needed was for one of his hyper observant family members to guess what he'd been up to before he got a chance to change clothes.

Ten years ago, he never thought he'd find himself where he was earlier that afternoon.

He tried to resist those piercing jade eyes and plush lips, but gripping that tiny waist and getting an eyeful of her -

 _Shit_.

Sasuke inwardly groaned, and tried telling himself that this insatiable need was just the result of not having had regular _relations_ with his girlfriend while he and Naruto were training for the upcoming jounin exams.

But if he was really being honest - when did he ever not feel this way about her?

Haruno Sakura had always been a pretty girl, no one could deny that. But over the years, her delicate features evolved into a heady, exotic beauty.

And combined with that tight, petite body built for sin… one had to be blind or stupid not to notice Konoha's sweetheart.

And Uchiha Sasuke was neither.

Which is why his appointment at her office earlier that afternoon took a carnal turn.

He supposed it wasn't all that surprising. He hadn't seen her much recently, and he missed her. There was that too brief encounter they shared at his house a few days ago, but that didn't count. They barely managed to squeeze in 20 minutes together while Sakura waited for Itachi to return home for one of his regular healing sessions.

Which was just enough time for Sasuke to get her off, but left him deliriously wanting _... more._

He always wanted more with Sakura.

And today was no different. He had every intention of keeping things strictly professional, he really did. Because he was there for a mandatory physical required for all exam participants, and even though Sakura had a private office - the hospital was still her workplace.

But per usual, things went sideways as soon as he saw her.

He thought back to the vision she made in her immaculate white medic's coat: her lean legs looked endless in a pair of high heeled sandals; the swell of her breasts strained underneath her fitted red dress, and her cotton candy hair was piled high into a loose bun, showing off her pale, slender neck.

And when he finally pulled her close for a searing kiss, it didn't help that his hands over her toned backside quickly revealed that she wasn't wearing any underwear.

Dr. Haruno planned this all along knowing he'd be at the hospital today, like the tease he knew she was.

His knees nearly buckled just thinking about the incredible sex they had in her office ( _and gods, that thing she did with his balls…_ )

Hot office sex was a fantasy he had since they started seeing each other romantically a year ago, but it wasn't one he thought he'd ever get to fulfill given Sakura's high-profile position at the hospital.

But that was the thing about his childhood teammate-turned girlfriend. She never ceased to surprise (and amaze) him with her aggressive and direct nature when it came to the physical side of their relationship.

In fact, Sakura was so... _persuasive_ , that admittedly - thoughts of her and their less than innocent activities were a major distraction lately.

It certainly didn't help that their relationship was a secret. It wasn't that he enjoyed sneaking around, and the decision to keep their romance under wraps wasn't a reflection of how he felt about her.

But Sasuke knew how hard the clan council would try and shit on his girlfriend's civilian background. While his immediate family and most of the clan couldn't care less, he knew their elders could make one's life more miserable than an inflamed hemorrhoid if they felt like it.

And while he was used to navigating the clan's impossible standards and dealing with the feelings of inadequacy that the elders routinely imposed - he couldn't and _wouldn't_ subject Sakura to that.

Not when he was aware of her sensitivities, and all of the blood, sweat and tears she'd shed as a genin. And everything she'd endured as the Godaime's apprentice to improve her skills, achieve her Byakugō seal and cement her worth as an integral jounin of the village.

So, Sasuke vowed to keep their relationship on the down low until he found a way to keep the elders out of it.

That said, even if the elders weren't a problem - there was still the issue of his mother. Both teens knew there'd be endless talk of weddings and babies if Mikoto ever learned about their change in status _._

As a busy surgical resident and the primary Medic-on-Call for the main houses of Konoha's noble clans, the sheer force of Mikoto-san's well-known enthusiasm for event planning and grandchildren wasn't something Sakura thought she could handle at the moment.

And Sasuke wasn't keen on being pushed into marriage and fatherhood at eighteen, either.

He knew Sakura was his end game, but he had more critical goals for the time being.

Like being promoted to jounin along with his idiot best friend so they could catch up to their female teammate.

So, the couple agreed to go public with their relationship when Itachi and Izumi-nee's engagement was formally announced.

Sasuke figured once his Nii-san's wedding date was set and he was in transition to formerly take over as clan head from their father, he could ask Itachi for help in dealing with the elders.

And, he hoped the flurry of activity required to plan a main house wedding, and the prospect of grandchildren by her eldest would be diverting enough to keep his mother's rabid attention away from him and Sakura.

Speaking of which… where was his mother?

She was usually in the kitchen this time of day preparing his favorite foods. But he didn't hear the usual sounds of chopping, washing, or the rustling of pots and pans coming from downstairs.

Assuming his mother wasn't home, Sasuke finally unmasked his chakra when he heard a light rap on his bedroom door.

"Come to the kitchen for dinner once you are settled, Sasuke. Okaa-san and Otou-san are dining with the elders in the formal reception room. Unless, of course, you would like to join them."

Sasuke's head shot up. He'd barely put out the faintest signature... but of course, if anyone noticed it would be Itachi.

As for dinner with his parents' "honored guests" - hell motherfucking NO THANK YOU to _that_.

"No need," he blurted out almost immediately.

Itachi smirked at this lightening fast rejection of spending any time with the elders. He couldn't blame his little brother. The thought alone was enough to give him mild indigestion, so he couldn't imagine what the prospect did to Sasuke.

When Sasuke finally made his way downstairs, he found a generous spread of dishes waiting for him in the kitchen. "Where is Izumi-nee and Shisui?" he asked after swallowing his fourth onigiri.

 _Ahhh, tomatoes and okaka… the best._

Itachi looked on affectionately at the sight of his otouto inhaling his favorite food. Watching Sasuke eat onigiri always reminded him of when he was little. He was so adorable with his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk.

"Izumi is having dinner with her genin team, and Shisui refuses to step anywhere near our home knowing Kana-san is here."

"Hn."

Of course Shisui would avoid their home like the plague tonight.

Uchiha Kana was a pill, and she also happened to be Shisui's insufferable great aunt. The windbag had a mouth big enough to rival Yamanaka Ino's (which was really saying something), although these days most of her rants were focused on nagging Shisui about his notorious womanizing.

She and the rest of the elders had long since given up trying to get his older playboy cousin to marry and settle down, but they found that indiscriminately bedding loose civilians was an entirely different matter. (Kana-san privately wondered how Shisui's dick hadn't fallen off by now given the extent of his scandalous escapades.)

"And how have your exam preparations been coming along?" Itachi asked as he gently pushed a plate of marinated tomatoes towards his little brother.

"Well. As long as I don't kill the idiot during the practical, we'll be fine."

"That is -"

Itachi was abruptly cut off by the sound of clattering china. Both brothers shot up from their seats with a kunai in hand.

A split second in, Sasuke still couldn't sense any unknown chakra signatures in the house.

 _So_ _what the hell was that?_

Suddenly, the brothers heard the shoving of some very flustered elders awkwardly jamming their sandals on as they scrambled over each other at the genkan, muttering excuses for their sudden departure.

Sasuke caught a glimpse of his mother's beet red face and his father's stony expression as their guests all but rushed out the door.

Itachi spoke first to cut the tension in the room.

"Otou-san, is everything alright?"

Their mother wouldn't look at either son in the face as Fugaku cleared his throat to respond.

"Yes, everything is fine… It is nothing."

Mikoto looked like she might add something, but only offered her boys a nervous smile before faithfully padding after her husband to the master suite, presumably to retire for the evening.

Although his Nii-san's face appeared as impassive as ever, Sasuke knew better. The slight downturn of Itachi's mouth proved that he was just as dissatisfied with their father's lame attempt to brush this under the rug.

So the question remained - what had the elders practically falling over each other to leave the main house so abruptly?

* * *

To Sasuke's horror, that question was answered the following evening after his daily training session. He returned home drenched in sweat and caked in mud from a brutal simulation run with Naruto and Kakashi.

Muttering the usual " _Tadaima_ ", Sasuke was surprised to find his Kaa-san in the kitchen plating food from _take-out_ containers.

This in and of itself was strange. The Uchiha matriarch was as well known for her culinary skills as she was for her beauty and brutal genjutsu techniques. Few things brought her greater pride (other than her beloved sons, of course) than knowing how much her family and friends loved her superior cooking.

She made a point to carefully prepare home cooked meals for her immediate and extended family each and every day, and Sasuke could count the number of times he'd eaten take-out at home while he was growing up on one hand.

Regardless, he sensed that he'd better not comment on their dinner, given his mother's minutely tense mannerisms (probably leftover from that weird evening with the elders).

"Ahhhhh, Sasu-chan! Okaeri! Look at this yakisoba and nikujaga Itachi-kun brought home for us. I promise, it's not sweet at all! Just look at your clothing, you're filthy! Why don't you take a bath? And come down for dinner after you change… umm... okay?"

It took a lifetime of conditioning for Sasuke to keep his eye from twitching.

Was his Kaa-san… rambling? She almost sounded like Sakura when she was flustered or _nervous_ about something.

After wiping her hands on the front of her apron, Mikoto scurried to the garden murmuring some excuse about having to feed the koi, and left her youngest son alone in the kitchen.

Running a hand through his unruly hair, Sasuke shook his head in confusion and went upstairs to wash up and change.

As he walked down the hallway after his shower, he passed his brother's room on the way to his own. The door was slightly ajar, which was usually Itachi's way of inviting Sasuke in.

"Aniki, can I come in?"

"Ah."

Sasuke entered his brother's room and closed the shouji all the way. Itachi was seated as he always did at his chabudai – back ramrod straight in perfect posture, reading a scroll.

"…"

His brother looked up knowingly. "Yes, Sasuke. Okaa-san sent me a message at ANBU HQ this afternoon requesting that I pick up food on the way home. She explained that Otou-san would not be home for dinner this evening, as he has pressing work at the station."

Itachi briefly glanced at his otouto before completing a series of familiar hand signs, casting a silencing jutsu on the room.

"So… I take it you were out training all day?"

While his voice sounded casually even, Sasuke knew better. His eyes narrowed in calculation, but he answered anyway.

"Ah. Training ground 12, running live simulations with the old man and the Dobe."

Itachi gently rubbed his chin with his thumb and index finger. "I see. Then perhaps you may not have been privy to some of the more… _curious_ comments that were circulating around the village this afternoon."

Sasuke's brows pinched in agitation. "What are you talking about, Aniki? Spit it out."

At that moment, both brothers looked heavenward and braced themselves for the onslaught that was their older cousin.

"Hey there little Cousin 1 and littler Baby Cousin 2!" Shisui greeted them with an exaggerated two fingered salute as he materialized onto Itachi's windowsill.

 _Damn that shunshin of his_. Sasuke didn't even sense him coming before Shisui all but arrived.

"So, chibi grouch! Looks like you've been having – or at the very least, are _looking into_ _having_ \- some real grown up fun these days! Misplaced something lately? Hmmm? Anything at all?"

Shisui capped his question with a suggestive wink, ignoring Itachi's stern looks clearly warning him to tone it down.

"What the fuck are you babbling about now, Shisui?" Sasuke scowled, crossing his arms in annoyance.

"Ah ah ah! _Language_ , Sasu-chan, language! Wouldn't want Auntie to hear you now, would we? Who knows if her delicate sensibilities could take it, especially after the eyeful she got last night!"

Shisui shook with barely restrained laughter as Itachi sighed in resignation. He faced his little brother and spoke over Shisui's snickering with practiced calm.

"Sasuke. Apparently, the elders ended their evening with our parents yesterday after discovering questionable… _literature,_ in the formal reception room."

Itachi gave his brother a pointed look, clearly trying to communicate _something_ with his eyes.

Unfortunately, that wasn't going anywhere because Sasuke looked as stumped as ever. Until -

 _OH._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Ohhh…. shit._

* * *

AN: Thanks for reading, and if you enjoyed this Ch 1 kindly let me know your thoughts by leaving a review! :)


	2. Quickie Consequences

Sasuke tried to appear unaffected despite the five-alarm shitstorm roiling in his head.

"I don't know what either of you are talking about. If you'll excuse me, I'd like to rest."

Ignoring Shisui's howling, Sasuke swiftly marched over to his own room and collapsed onto his futon.

Clutching his hair, he finally gathered his wits enough to start searching for something small, rectangular and _green._ After turning his immaculate room inside out and rummaging through all of his usual hiding places, he confirmed what he already knew.

 **His copy of Icha Icha Make-Out Tactics was** **missing** _._

 _But how did he not notice until now?!_

Several deep, sobering breaths later - he realized exactly how this mess came about.

Right before Sakura arrived for Itachi's eye appointment earlier that week, he'd been home alone and took advantage of this rare moment of solitude to resume reading his Icha Icha.

But here's the thing. Sasuke was by no means a pervert, dammit!

Hell, he hadn't even bought it himself (it was a recent birthday gift from his worldly ex-sensei). And while he audibly choked reading the opening chapter for the first time, he couldn't deny that he found the book surprisingly… _informative,_ in recent months.

Because frankly, Sakura and Sasuke were each other's first and only sexual partners. And while he always thought he'd be the one to take the lead in figuring out… whatever needed figuring out to get this aspect of their relationship rolling - it turned out his girlfriend was far more sexually aware than he was.

He wondered if it was because she was a medic (he once overheard Shisui blithering about the advantages of bedding someone with advanced knowledge of the human anatomy during what he called his "Sexy Nurse Phase").

Whatever it was, this was for certain: Sakura was adventurous and loved trying new things.

Given that he had every intention of keeping his feisty lover satisfied, Sasuke thought Icha Icha could be a useful source of information (because there was no way in hell he was asking his brother about this. Or even worse, that lecher Shisui).

Sure, the book made him cringe more often than not (I mean come on _…_ The plot, if you could even call it that, was tenuous at best and was clearly just a vehicle for… _other_ things. A princess and a samurai as star crossed lovers? It didn't get much cornier than that).

But his only other option (going to Kakashi or the moron for advice) seemed equally unappealing, and carried the added stench of a conflict of interest.

So, Icha Icha became his go-to guide for all things kink.

But that didn't mean Sasuke was flagrant about it. The last thing he wanted was for Sakura to find out he was reading this. He didn't want her thinking he was some kind of sexual deviant.

Which is why, just as he was turning the page on a titillating (but admittedly confusing) description of a position involving _multiple_ (!) clones and a _soup ladle_ of all things, he was taken unawares when he sensed her chakra outside the front door.

He shot up from the sofa where he was reading, stuffed the risqué book in the back pocket of his shorts, pulled down his shirt to cover it all and nearly tripped over himself on the way to the genkan to let his girlfriend in.

Of course, as soon as he opened the door to Sakura's shy smile, the anxiety he'd been wracked with moments before melted away. After sharply scanning the front lawn for any nosy neighbors, he gently took her wrist and ushered her inside.

Almost immediately, Sakura's attention was drawn to a new woodblock print his Kaa-san recently acquired and hung on the far wall of the formal reception room. As he observed her slight form standing in this grand space, he was hit with the memory of the last time she sat in that very room.

It was during matsuri the year prior. His mother insisted that Sakura and Naruto visit the main house so she could take pictures of all three of them in their festival clothes.

Shockingly, Naruto arrived in a kimono that wasn't a total bright orange eye sore (undoubtedly Hinata's influence).

And Sakura... his lovely Sakura showed up looking positively ethereal.

Her pale silver kimono perfectly hugged her lithe frame, and the elegant updo of her distinct pastel hair was adorned with delicate cherry blossom kanzashi.

Incapable of sitting still for more than a few minutes, Naruto was too busy whining about his itchy robes and trailing after Mikoto-baa for pre-festival snacks to notice Sasuke's near blatant ogling of their female teammate.

In truth, these two had been flirting discreetly for months prior to that day... but Sasuke finally managed to make the extent of his feelings known at the festival.

And when the evening was over – he was a virgin no longer courtesy of the kunoichi of his dreams.

Which is why, seeing Sakura earlier that week gazing at his mother's painting in the formal reception room reminded him of matsuri the year prior… and their first time together.

Coupled with the fact that: (1) he hadn't really seen her for the better part of two months; and (2) he happened to be reading a particularly stimulating chapter of Icha Icha when she arrived... led to their frenzied and passionate quickie that afternoon in the formal reception room.

Naturally, he'd forgotten about the book the second he felt her lips on his own.

If the past year was any indicator, that's usually how things went down with Sakura. A lingering touch on the small of her back, the weight of her plump breast in his palm, and the firm grip of her small hand over his manhood was usually all it took to rob him of any rational thought.

That stupid Icha Icha probably fell out of his pocket and inadvertently got kicked to a corner during their little session (not that either of them noticed when he was three fingers deep trying desperately to maintain some semblance of rhythm while her thumb was mercilessly teasing his slit).

I mean, who in their right minds would have cared about something as trivial as a book when they had such a sweetly writhing succubus in their arms?

Sasuke grabbed his pillow and smothered himself with it.

 _Someone who was less of a horny idiot, that's who_ , he thought bitterly.

The elders had seen it… his graphic copy of Icha Icha.

In the formal reception room of the Uchiha main house.

 _Where they just had dinner…_

 ** _WITH HIS PARENTS_** _._

This could not have happened at a worse time. The jounin exams started in two days, for fuck's sake!

And his poor mother... No wonder she looked like she was about to die from embarrassment. For the Uchiha matriarch to be humiliated like that in her own home was unthinkable.

Knowing that big mouth Kana-san, the salacious details of whatever the elders got a peek of was probably known all throughout Fire Country by now… and two countries over.

This gave Sasuke another horrifying need for pause. _What exactly did they see?_

There probably wasn't a single page in that book that wouldn't shock the conscience of the elders. After all, they were a super crotchety, deeply conservative bunch.

He remembered hearing them hound his Nii-san and Shisui countless times before, screeching ' _abstinence before marriage!_ ' and _'no kissing without a chaperone!'_ and other similar nonsense. So he could only imagine what they thought about the contents of whatever they saw.

Quickly, Sasuke tried to recall exactly which pages he'd earmarked (there were a few, okay?! He was a healthy young man involved in what he considered a responsible, committed relationship. LET HIM LIVE.)

And Otou-san… It was bad enough his father was always comparing him to Itachi. Now, he probably viewed his second son as some pathetic hormonal fuck up lacking discipline.

Sasuke couldn't decide which was worse: the fact that the elders somehow caught a glimpse of his erotica du jour, or the knowledge that his parents knew someone was reading this kind of filth in their venerable home.

But this last train of thought gave Sasuke an inkling of hope.

Maybe this wasn't as damning as it seemed. It's not like the book was discovered in his room or had his name written all over it.

Just because they found it in the formal reception room, didn't mean anyone would know it was _his._

He'd just pin it on Shisui!

Was that dastardly? Maybe. But Shisui more than deserved it for his years of incessant teasing and obnoxious behavior. And it would also serve as payback for all the times he blatantly flirted with Sakura.

Still, Sasuke had to be strategic about his. Was this really a viable alternative?

Because if nothing else, Shisui was utterly shameless.

His older cousin was the same asshole who proudly proclaimed at the village's most popular dive that **_"Jiraiya-sama is the undisputed OG!"_** and used up all of his vacation days last year just to attend the premiere of the "Icha Icha Violence- UNCENSORED CUT" XXX movie (and purposely blew off two critical clan meetings in the process).

The more he thought about it, the more Sasuke concluded that a well-known lothario like Shisui wouldn't give two shits about anyone (much less the elders) knowing about his lewd hobbies or pornographic preferences.

If the book belonged to Shisui, he'd have made a point to reclaim it already - appearances be damned.

Shit. So that wouldn't work.

Could he try and pin it on his ex-sensei?

Unlikely. It was common knowledge that the widely feared Copy Ninja owned every book in the series. And he held whatever volume he happened to be reading on any given day close to the vest because each of his copies were limited edition prints that were autographed by the toad sage himself.

Sasuke knew for a fact that his copy wasn't signed… and grudgingly moved on to his next option.

He knew it was batshit crazy, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Perhaps he could maybe, sort of… _possibly_ ask his brother to…

He sighed in defeat before finishing the thought.

No one would believe it. His Nii-san was far too smooth and meticulous to make such a sloppy mistake.

This was _Itachi_ – the much lauded prodigy and heir of the Uchiha, one of the most lethal shinobi in Konoha and probably the country at large, perfect in every way… Hell, Sasuke had never even seen a strand of his brother's immaculate hair out of place.

No, there was no way his parents (or anyone) would believe that _Itachi_ was so indiscreet as to leave something like that out in the open… and in their mother's formal reception room, of all places.

Sasuke felt the beginnings of a wicked headache forming behind his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

 _Think rationally… THINK you miserable bastard._

Right. First things first.

Neither of his parents brought this up… _yet_. His father seemed especially busy at the station this week. Which was expected, given the security arrangements that had to be finalized with Hokage Tower for the jounin exams this weekend.

And his mother seemed too mortified to bring it up on her own, so maybe those things combined would buy him enough time to try and think of a way to salvage the situation.

As for the exams, he couldn't afford to get sidetracked with only two days left to go. Now more than ever, he had to focus and make sure he and Naruto made jounin without question.

Finally - what would Sakura think if she ever caught wind of this?!

 _One thing at a time._ He'd cross that bridge when he got to it.

He sighed for the thousandth time and closed his eyes in frustration, the take-out downstairs long forgotten.

 _What the everloving FUCK._

* * *

 **A/N** : Dear lecielrouge, I didn't have another way of messaging you about your lovely comment on Ch 1... I think your English is fantastic, thank you so much for your review!

I appreciate everybody's feedback so much~! As always, thank you for reading, and if you enjoyed this Ch 2 kindly let me know your thoughts with a comment below :)


	3. Hardcore Edition

( _EARLIER THAT DAY_ …)

More often than not, one word came to mind whenever anyone mentioned the village's youngest ever ANBU Vice-Commander:

 ** _Deadly._**

And that wasn't inaccurate. Because Uchiha Itachi was, in fact, a profoundly dangerous man.

But what most of the public who only knew of his larger-than-life exploits and storied career from afar _didn't_ know was: this formidable shinobi was a pacifist who abhorred violence.

He was also exceedingly gracious, unfailingly polite, fiercely protective of his comrades and subordinates, and despite his intimidating rank – considered himself just one of many faithful stewards of the Will of Fire; a servant of his clan but more importantly… of his village.

Those in his inner circle also knew he was a family man through and through: a dutiful son, a deeply loving older brother, and a devoted partner to his betrothed.

While Itachi realized his high profile status as the Uchiha heir and elevated rank in the village's shinobi hierarchy necessitated the maintenance of a certain… _persona_ , if you will – at heart, he was just a young man of 23 who loved his family, his village and one Uchiha Izumi.

And despite Shisui's constant metaphors likening the institution of marriage to torture and imprisonment, Itachi was looking forward to wedding his life-long friend in the upcoming year.

Because that's who Izumi was – one of his most faithful, loyal and oldest friends.

One whose strength and character he could count on to put him in his place when he was being unreasonable; listen and take his hand when the duties and expectations of his station seemed overwhelming; tease a smile onto his stoic face and share in his indulgence of sweet treats...

She was, without a doubt, the only one for him.

Which is why he was pleased to steal away a brief half hour break from his responsibilities at ANBU HQ to join his beloved for a bite of dango at their favorite tea house.

Itachi, Izumi and Shisui were regulars at this establishment since they were children, even though it wasn't located in the Uchiha compound.

Little Shisui once quipped – " _Good dango is good dango so who cares if one of our aunties or uncles didn't make it?_ "

At the time, his two younger cousins were dumbfounded by this radical idea. But it made perfect sense, so logic dictated that they agree.

Shisui was right, plain and simple. And from that day on, this was their teahouse of choice for their favorite dessert.

"Where is Shi-kun? He's not coming?" Izumi discreetly brushed her sandal against her fiancé's ankle, pointedly ignoring his playful glare.

"Shisui had a mission briefing. Hopefully, you won't mind enduring my exclusive company today."

Izumi's dark eyes livened at his teasing. "Don't be ridiculous. I love Shi-kun, but if he keeps talking like marriage is a lifelong prison sentence without hope for parole, I'm gonna kick his ass from here to Suna."

Itachi couldn't help smirking in response until he remembered what he'd been meaning to ask since they were seated. "How is Hazuki-san feeling this week? I regret not having the opportunity to visit her personally."

The couple was briefly interrupted by a plainly awestruck young waitress. "Will you be having the usual, Fukucho-sama?"

"Yes, thank you." Itachi's response was polite but detached, as always. The girl quickly skittered away to fulfill the order.

"Kaa-chan is just fine, _Fukucho-sama_." Izumi made a point to exaggerate that last part and rolled her eyes. "When we're married there's no way I'm calling you _'Goshujin-sama'_ or whatever archaic title the elders insist on. You'll only ever be 'Itachi-kun' to me… or maybe _Anata_ , on days when you are especially sweet."

She stuck her tongue out in defiance, scrunching her nose in that adorable way he loved.

"Okaa-san does not address my father by anything cumbersome like that. I don't care what you call me, as long as you agree to be mine."

His quiet confession was enough to draw a rosy blush from Izumi's fair cheeks. Flustered, she immediately redirected the conversation to hide her embarrassment as their dango and tea was served.

"Seriously though, mother is feeling so much better. Sakura-chan made an unexpected house call after your eye appointment earlier this week. I poked around at the hospital and found out she went through the trouble of pushing back another procedure to treat her that day."

Itachi chewed his dango thoughtfully, as he considered their favorite medic. Izumi continued, "Kaa-chan said she was so gentle and thorough. And her hip pain is totally gone now."

Izumi recalled her own experiences with Sakura's healing. As an elite jounin, she had her fair share of injuries treated before by various mednin. But there was a distinct refinement and cooling sensation to Sakura's Mystical Palm technique that was well known and sought after by numerous patients in their village and beyond.

"I feel badly though. She rescheduled her afternoon to heal mother, only to go back to the hospital for another surgery that same day. And I never got a chance to properly thank her on my own. What if the extra visit left her exhausted for her more serious procedure?"

Itachi nodded in understanding. Such concerns were usually justified, as everyone knew Dr. Haruno never thought twice about exhausting her chakra to heal a patient in need… whoever they may be.

He'd seen Sasuke yell at her for exceeding her limits several times before – " _Why can't you prioritize your OWN health for once!"_ or, _"Gods, why can't you get it through your thick skull that you're allowed to say NO!"_ – while the less articulate Naruto would screech incoherently beside him, flailing in extreme displeasure at her condition.

Of course, despite all that screaming and hollering, Sasuke always insisted on carrying her home himself – _"hands off, Dobe!"_ And schedule permitting, he never failed to personally deliver their mother's home made bentos to her apartment to ensure that she was eating properly during her recovery.

Itachi recalled an awkward conversation they had not long after Sasuke and Naruto returned to the village following their two year training trips with Kakashi-senpai and Jiraiya-sama, respectively. When he caught his otouto wrapping an elaborate bento box with one of their mother's furoshiki, Sasuke explained:

" _Sakura's parents passed away in a freak construction accident last year, before the idiot and I returned home. She lives in that apartment alone, and all that useless Yamanaka ever brings over is ice cream and anmitsu. Sakura is annoying. She never puts herself first, ever. So it's up to me… I, I - I mean, us! US, to look after her."_

Sputtering at the tail end of that sentence, Sasuke clutched the knot on that furoshiki so tightly his knuckles turned white. With his ears blazing, he rushed out the door with his bento in hand.

Clearly, he and Naruto harbored guilt for being away when Sakura lost her parents. But that was significantly overshadowed by Sasuke's painfully obvious feelings for the medic on their team.

Not that his crush wasn't self evident when they were genin. Unbeknownst to Sasuke, the befuddled mess of feelings everyone knew he had for Sakura was a popular source of entertainment for the older members of his family (when chibi grouch Sasu-chan was out of earshot, of course).

Back to the point though. While Itachi agreed that worrying over Sakura-san's zealous work ethic was typically warranted, in this case he felt it necessary to assuage Izumi's concerns.

"From what I understand, Sakura-san's skills are far enough advanced that anything addressed at a house call wouldn't have had much impact."

Izumi's shoulders relaxed at his reassuring words. "Well, if you say so." But she visibly huffed before taking another long sip of tea. "You know, a girl like that isn't going to stay unattached for long. So Sasu-chan better get moving!"

Itachi tried his best not to smile at her spirited tirade. "You are starting to sound like Okaa-san. But as usual, I cannot disagree with you."

After finishing their treats, the handsome couple realized they had a good ten minutes to spare before Itachi's break was over. So, they decided to walk through the marketplace towards ANBU HQ together.

Given their superior hearing and advanced senses, Itachi and Izumi found themselves at a loss for words as their ears picked up the strangest gossip from all over the market.

" _The depravity…"_

" _Who would have thought… that kind of smut in the main house!"_

" _Orgies and… cooking utensils!"_

" _Do any of the books discuss using the Sharingan for…?"_

" _Graphic diagrams… earmarked, she said!"_

" _Everyone knows those positions aren't realistic… but they are a clan full of prodigies, after all."_

" _Doesn't Mikoto-sama's garden have a swing? It was featured in Konoha Digest a few years back… Do you think they've ever – "_

" _BOTH….? At the same time?!"_

Before long, the confused couple found themselves at the entrance of the imposing ANBU HQ building. Izumi's puzzled face was completely drained of color as she looked at a spot in the distance, trying to piece together everything she'd just overheard.

Itachi was equally stunned. This shockingly salacious gossip was the last thing he'd expected to hear on his way back to work.

But, ever the composed clan-head-to-be, he quickly gathered his wits and directed his fiancé's gaze back towards him. "Why don't you head home and check on Hazuki-san. I will get to the bottom of these… _colorful_ rumors, and will catch up with you later."

Izumi could only nod in her dazed state, and gave Itachi a reflexive peck on the cheek. The instinctive and involuntary nature of her kiss pleased him too much to feel embarrassed by her overt display of affection. And with that, he headed into the lobby and up the stairs to his office on the fifth floor, where he found himself face to face with his older cousin.

"Uh… hey Fukucho-sama," Shisui grinned sheepishly, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Just the man I was hoping to see… You got a minute?"

* * *

Both shinobi entered the Vice-Commander's spacious office and closed the door.

Shisui got straight to the point.

"So… Idaina-obaa told some old biddies around town that there's some awesome freaky shit going on at your house."

The slight quirk of Itachi's brow silently directed his older cousin to elaborate.

"One of the elders… I think it was old geezer Yashiro? You know, the one with the big ears? Anyway, he was fidgeting during dinner at your place last night… When auntie offered to swap out his zabuton, they realized he was uncomfortable because he was sitting on top of an open copy of Icha Icha Tactics… the **_hardcore edition_** \- and his knee was digging into the spine. Those old fogies didn't know what it was and took a minute or five… _or ten_ to check it out!"

Despite the gravity of the office where they stood, Shisui couldn't help giggling. "You think they flipped through it with their Sharingan activated?!"

Itachi breathed deeply and closed his eyes for a beat. When he opened them, he leveled a questioning look at his cousin.

"Nope, not mine. It wasn't worth spending double for _Tactics_ when everyone knew _Icha Icha Violence_ was going to be way more hard –" he was summarily cut off by the zing of a kunai flying precariously close to his face.

But something trivial like a deadly weapon wasn't enough to divert the great Shunshin no Shisui from this outrageously entertaining development.

" _Oh shit!_ It's gotta be Sasu-chan's!"

For a split second, Itachi almost looked like he might be considering something else, but the moment passed as quickly as it came.

"Shisui, this isn't funny."

"Isn't it though?"

"This nonsense is apparently all over the village. At this rate, I would not be surprised if Okaa-san is too embarrassed to leave the house, much less the compound."

"Oh come on, Itachi. It's not the end of the world. The gossip mill will forget this soon enough. It'll be old news by next week and those vultures will just be out for new fodder, like they always do."

Shisui waived off his cousin's concerns with ease. And as irritated as Itachi was about the situation - once again, he found merit in Shisui's reasoning.

"I mean, he'll never stop being chibi grouch to me. But that doesn't change the fact that he's eighteen years old. Plus - you, me, and all of Hokage Tower knows this exam is just a formality for him. Our not so little guy and his idiot BFF are ready to be jounin. They're the most advanced candidates to take the exam in _years_."

Itachi rested his chin on interlaced hands, indicating his unspoken agreement. Naruto and Sasuke were unquestionably the most powerful chunnin in the village, and they were more than qualified for the promotion.

"If they expect this kid to draw lightening from the sky and electrocute our enemies in combat, he's allowed to have a little fun, don't you think? And even if people keep talking about it, who the fuck cares? It's nobody's business what anyone reads or does behind or in front of closed doors as long as they're not hurting anyone or breaking laws. People need to get a life. And hopefully, at the very least - this will mean your idiot brother will actually get a clue about what to do with poor Sakura-chan once he finally grows the balls to stake his claim… if he hasn't already!"

Shisui's cackling was Itachi's cue to kick him out of his office.

The young Vice-Commander took another cleansing breath. Not for the first time, he found himself thankful for Shisui's no-nonsense input.

His older cousin was right. At the end of the day, something like this was perfectly natural, and he didn't want his otouto feeling embarrassed or judged for it.

Still, Itachi knew getting through to Sasuke would be difficult. His little brother had a penchant for letting this type of drivel negatively affect him.

* * *

Towards the end of his day, the Uchiha heir was informed that his mother left him a message requesting that he pick up take-out for dinner on his way home.

 _Oh, Okaa-san…_ Itachi deduced that she didn't have provisions to cook, but was too embarrassed to face the village gossip at the market. So, being the dutiful and obedient son that he was, he called his mother back and let her know that he would do as she'd asked.

Later that evening, he considered how to approach his otouto about this... situation.

"Well, that could've gone better. I can sense him hyperventilating two doors down!"

Itachi sighed in exasperation. Really, didn't Shisui know that poking his little brother like that only made him shut down harder?

"Whatever. This'll do him good. It'll teach him not to let this kind of pointless shit get to him so much."

Sporting a self-satisfied grin, Shisui languidly stretched before heading out. "I'm meeting Genma at the Yumei Lounge around midnight if you wanna drink this off. But I can't guarantee I'll be around much if Kaede-chan or her roommate are working the bar tonight."

Itachi shot him a dry look. "Isn't Kaede-san the one who tried to burn your clothes and strangle you from her third story window?"

"Uhh… maybe? Water under the bridge though, all's forgiven!"

"And wasn't that because of your indiscretion with her… _roommate_?"

"Was it? Can't remember. Anyway, ja ne!"

And with that, Shisui flash-stepped out just as quickly as he appeared.

Itachi placed his thumb and index finger over his weary lids. His eyes were feeling dry again, and he reached for the prescription eye drops Sakura-san formulated just for him.

She knew exactly what he needed from their regular healing sessions, and discreetly delivered the eye drops to his home so he wouldn't have to be seen picking up a prescription at the pharmacy and face inane questions about his vision from others.

She was always so considerate, even as a child.

The thought made Itachi smile. As foolish as his otouto could be, he'd certainly done an exemplary job in choosing where to direct his affections.

He only hoped Sasuke would relax enough to let this Icha Icha debacle slide and not get in the way of his upcoming exam… or his feelings for his female teammate.

* * *

 **A/N** : Dear lecielrouge, thank you so much again for leaving another kind review! And all my gratitude to everyone who took the time to leave a review and message me about this story. Your engagement and encouragement is enormously appreciated!

As always, thank you for your readership, and if you enjoyed this Ch 3 kindly let me know your thoughts with a comment below :)

Also, in case anyone's wondering:

偉大な叔母 (Idaina oba-san) = great aunt

座布団 (zabuton) = a cushion used for seating in a traditional Japanese home

副長 (Fukucho) = Vice Commander (the closest translation I could find!)

夢 (yumei) = dream (I named the bar/club Shisui likes to frequent the "Dream" Lounge! :)


	4. Record Time

The next two days were a blur. The non-stop training and endless combat simulations Sasuke endured with Naruto and Kakashi were almost enough to drown out his personal woes.

Almost.

As for Sakura, he hadn't seen her since his mandatory physical earlier that week. But she did send him a note by slug summon on the first day of the exams.

" _Dear Sasuke-kun,_

 _I hope I didn't wake you with this summons! This isn't a note to wish you luck, because I know my team – and you and Naruto don't need it._

 _That being said, please don't do anything excessive. I don't want to see either of you with unnecessary injuries!_

 _I know you'll be totally off limits during the exam… but please know that I'll be thinking of you._ _Always_ _remember that I am yours and I am here._

 _No matter what, okay?_

 _Also, I have a surprise for you (and, I'm planning on treating Naruto to Ichiraku… but don't tell him that yet)._

 _I believe in you with all my heart because I know the vast extent of your strength, physically and mentally._

 _Take care of yourself like you take care of me over the next three days, understand? I'll be at the gates waiting._

 _Love, Sakura"_

Sasuke carefully folded the neatly written note and put the lightly scented paper in his back pocket. Like always, Sakura managed to dispel any doubts, anxiety or fear he felt with her words.

She believed in _him_ _._ Ever since they were children, she acknowledged and recognized him for _him._

Not as an Uchiha, not as Fugaku's second son or Itachi's younger brother… but as **_Sasuke-kun_** _._

He wondered what kind of surprise she was planning. And, this was the first time she signed off on anything she ever wrote to him with " _Love"._

At that moment, Sasuke realized he never needed her to spell out her feelings for him. Because in reality, he'd always known Sakura's devotion. She'd always been there for him and Naruto, even when they hadn't been there for her…

Sasuke's quiet contemplation of his girlfriend's tender message was rudely interrupted by a familiar screech outside his bedroom window.

"OIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! _TEMEEEEEEEEE!_ "

He pinched the bridge of his nose and reluctantly looked outside.

"Shut the fuck up, Dobe! Everyone's still sleeping!" He hissed, looking down to find a chipper Naruto standing outside the house.

"You're wrong! I just saw your Tou-san on the way here. He's already heading to the station to brief his officers for the exam. We both know Itachi-nii barely sleeps anyway and Mikoto-baa invited me over for breakfast so OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!"

Sasuke scoffed and slammed the window shut. He ignored Naruto out of spite and went to the bathroom to wash up first. As he headed downstairs to the kitchen, he heard the idiot complaining to his Kaa-san and Nii-san.

"And then, I was waiting out in the cold because stupid Sasu - _ahhh!_ What took you so long?!"

"Hn."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and took a seat next to his brother instead of his unwanted guest. He knew his mother wouldn't be too happy if he cracked Naruto's thick skull first thing in the morning, and he thought it best to try and stay in her good graces until he had this Icha Icha mess sorted out.

His Kaa-san still didn't seem 100% like her usual self, but she appeared less bothered than she was a few days ago.

"Hey, where's Sakura-chan? Why isn't she here to see us off?" Naruto strained his neck past the kitchen door, looking for telltale signs of pink.

Sasuke answered tersely, "She worked the night shift yesterday so she better be at home sleeping. How can you claim to be a concerned teammate when you still haven't figured out her work schedule?"

His reproachful glare wasn't entirely undeserved. Naruto genuinely didn't have a clue what Sakura's insane schedule was like.

Still, the crushing guilt on his usually sunny face was quickly displaced by wonder as Mikoto set a large tray of crisp gyoza on the table.

Sasuke looked on with disgust as his best friend practically shoveled food into his mouth. He made a mental note to curb the idiot's intake when Sakura treated him to Ichiraku. His girlfriend made good money, but Naruto's ravenous appetite for ramen could put anyone in the poor house.

When his mother left the kitchen to fetch more tea leaves from her pantry, Sasuke turned on his teammate. "Why the fuck are you here? Why aren't you at the Hyuuga's or something?"

Naruto gave him the stink eye. "You're a real shit stain, you know that? And deaf, too. I already told you - Mikoto-baa _invited me_. She wanted to make sure I had her famous shrimp gyoza before the exam!"

He turned to Itachi with his mouth full of food. "Ne ne Itachi-nii, you think Mikoto-baa can make some for Sakura-chan later? She loves this gyoza too, dattebayo!"

Itachi's lips curled into a faint smile. He nodded in response before shifting more gyoza and tamagoyaki in front of their eager guest.

Naruto only paused his feasting for a moment to rudely point his chopsticks at Sasuke. "You don't get it because you get to eat her cooking every day, you hairy asshole."

Sasuke stilled as he let those words sink in.

That's right. Naruto didn't grow up eating home cooked meals prepared for him with care.

He was always welcome at the main house while they were children, and practically lived there during their Academy and genin years. But the fact remained, that he never had what Sasuke had: the constant love and attention of his Kaa-san.

The reminder formed a small knot in Sasuke's chest.

Naruto's words also got him thinking about his Icha Icha problem from a new angle. His Kaa-san didn't deserve to be shamed because of _his_ slip up. She'd always been there for him and their family, as well as the countless members of their clan who relied on their matriarch for her steady guidance.

She deserved a genuine apology from him, as well as his honesty. Not the shitty end of some half baked scheme to try and deflect his mistake onto someone else.

Gods, he was hoping to be promoted to jounin. What did it say about his character if he couldn't come clean to his own mother, admit to this sloppy blunder and move on like a man?

His Kaa-san deserved a better son than that, and Sakura deserved a better boyfriend than that.

With new resolve behind his steely eyes, Sasuke suddenly found his appetite and began eating heartily (albeit, with infinitely better manners than his guest).

He honed his focus on two immediate goals: (1) pass the jounin exam with Naruto, and earn this promotion to make his friends and family proud; and (2) apologize to his parents for the embarrassment he caused them in front of the elders, and promise to exercise greater discretion in the future.

* * *

Once breakfast was finished, Naruto and Sasuke helped clear the table and neatly piled everything into the sink just as Sakura had diligently trained (beaten) them into doing over their decade of friendship.

After the boys double checked their gear, Mikoto and her eldest sent the two younger nin on their way.

"I will be here when you return, Sasuke." Mikoto looked to her youngest with a sure smile, exuding a warmth that hadn't graced her lovely face in days.

"Kaa-san…"

Itachi placed a strong hand on his brother's shoulder. "You and Naruto-kun will be fine. I am sure Father wanted to see you off, but he is stretched thin organizing security for the exam. And while Shisui and Izumi are on missions, they send their love."

Sasuke nodded curtly while Naruto flashed his hosts a passionate thumbs-up. "Don't worry Mikoto-baa, Itachi-nii! I'll be sure to keep an eye out for our little Sasu-chan!"

Sasuke privately vowed to punch the moron in the face as soon as they turned the corner. He really couldn't wait for this exam to be over with.

* * *

( _THREE DAYS LATER…_ )

With nothing more than a sprained ankle and a busted lip between them (Sasuke suffered the former during the exam while inflicting the latter on his best friend at the finish line... just because), the inseparable boys of Team 7 both ascended to the rank of jounin with the best timing out of all the exam participants.

"You piece of shit! Look what you did! How am I supposed to eat without my teeth?!"

"Ask Kurama to grow you new ones."

"And they call you the genius! He's not a dentist, you dumb fuck!"

Sakura and Kakashi shook their heads as their boys trudged out the gates of the training grounds where the practical component of the exam was administered. They feigned exasperation at Naruto and Sasuke's bickering, but neither was able to hide their joy and immense pride.

Sakura ran forward and enveloped them both in a crushing hug.

"Easy, Sakura-chan! You're gonna snap our necks, dattebayo!"

Sakura took his grimy face in her hands and squeezed his whiskered cheeks.

"Look what he did! Punish him, Sakura-chan!" Naruto pointed at his missing front teeth, eager to throw his best friend under the bus.

"Don't worry, Naruto. I'm so proud of you, and Hinata loves you no matter what."

Naruto's busted face broke into a wide grin as he noticed his shy Hinata-chan in the background, quietly waiting for him with a tin of her clan's special salve in hand.

"Oiiiiiii! _Hinata-chyaaaaan_! LOOK AT ME, I FINISHED FIRST! I'M THE BEST DATTEBAYO!"

He smothered his girlfriend in one of his signature bear hugs before scampering off to Ichiraku with a blushing (mortified) Hinata in tow.

Sakura giggled behind her hand as she felt the familiar chakra of her other teammate pulsing beside her. She looked at him fondly, acutely aware of the people around them.

"Congratulations, Sasuke-kun. I'm so happy for you and Naruto… I knew you'd pass."

"Hn."

Kakashi sidled up next to them. "Do I even want to know what he did to warrant the loss of his teeth?"

Sasuke just smirked in response. His former sensei ruffled his hair like he used to when they were genin, his visible eye crinkling as he smiled under his mask. "I'm proud of you, Sasuke. Not just because you passed, but because of _how_ you both passed."

The Copy Ninja gave him a knowing look before teleporting away in a flurry of leaves.

Sasuke suddenly felt a gentle tug on his sleeve. "Sit down, Sasuke-kun. Let me heal you."

As he lowered himself onto the grass, Sasuke couldn't help soaking in everything _Sakura_ : her irresistible fragrance, the adoring gleam in her eyes, and the incomparable feeling of her soft fingertips as her soothing chakra flowed through his ankle.

It took less than a minute for the Godaime's apprentice to perfectly heal his sprain. But it was her loving looks and gentle touch that had him inching closer and closer. Suddenly, he couldn't bring himself to care about where they were or who was around. He just wanted to close the distance between them...

Until he heard a grating, obnoxious voice in the distance.

"Congrats, chibi grouch! Made it out in record time, eh? Not bad, not bad at all! Hey there, Sakura-chaaaaan! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

Izumi noticed Sasuke's hackles rising and immediately whacked Shisui on the shoulder. "Congratulations, Sasuke-kun! We're so proud of you!"

Itachi leaned over and held his hand out to help his otouto stand. "Congratulations, Sasuke. You and Naruto-kun impressed us with your performance."

As Sakura gracefully rose to greet the older nin, Itachi continued. "The practical component wasn't billed as a collaborative trial, but there were no rules against working with other participants. The unique combat formations you deployed with Naruto-kun, and the strategies you coordinated with each other to ascertain the necessary pass codes were unexpected, and did not go unnoticed."

Sasuke's face was impassive, but the squaring of his shoulders and the way he stood a little straighter showed how affected he was by his Nii-san's praise.

Sakura was beaming, and clasped her hands behind her back to keep from throwing her arms around her teammate's neck. _So that's what Kaka-sensei was talking about..._

Shisui's smooth voice cut in. "Yeah yeah, so the little guy and his partner in crime had some slick moves. But onto more important matters! You're coming to the party tonight, right Sakura-chan?"

Sasuke shot his older cousin a suspicious look. "What party?"

"Your jounin promotion party, DUH."

"No."

"Come on, don't be a chibi grouch. I've been planning this for weeks! You wouldn't wanna be rude to all your guests now, would you? Everyone's coming!"

While Sasuke was privately pleased that Shisui apparently viewed his promotion as a foregone conclusion, he still turned to Sakura with a terse, _"You knew about this?"_

She nodded sheepishly. "Uh huh… Everyone's prepared jounin gifts for you and Naruto already… He's going to be so excited, you have to go! It won't be so bad."

Izumi gave Sakura a playful wink. "Yup, Hinata-san knows all about it. Itachi-kun and I will be there, too! This is a big deal, we have to celebrate! Oh, and before I forget - "

Izumi rummaged through her purse and extended a small box towards Sakura. "This is some homemade dango for you. Mother and I can't thank you enough for healing her hip. You never mentioned your house call, so I didn't realize you'd visited until Kaa-chan told me!"

Sakura's eyes widened at the disclosure. "Um… it's not a big deal, Izumi-san. I overheard from one of our nurses that she was in pain, so - "

"She _was_! Kaa-chan's been seeing one of our clan medics for months, but he's never been able to do more than numb the pain for a few hours at a time. Now her hip's as good as new! I know this dango isn't much, but it's Auntie Mikoto's recipe. Please take it as a thank you for helping my mother."

Sasuke observed his girlfriend, who was clearly embarrassed by the acknowledgement.

Of course Sakura took it upon herself to personally visit Izumi-nee's mother and heal what their clan medic failed to handle the moment she heard Hazuki-san was in pain… and did it without telling anyone, despite her already hectic schedule.

Sasuke felt a distinct warmth bloom in his chest. Sakura was always so selfless, striving to care for others without seeking anything in return. He couldn't help radiating pride at the incredible woman she was, and he began to feel increasingly disinterested in keeping their attachment a secret… external factors be damned.

As Sakura shyly accepted the dango, Sasuke decided that as much as he wasn't looking forward to a night out at some crowded bar – he'd attend this pain-in-the-ass party without further complaint if his girlfriend wanted to go.

"Sakura-san, we are under strict orders by my mother to bring Sasuke home as soon as he was finished. I'm sure she has prepared enough food to feed a small army. Would you care to join us?" Itachi offered gently, so as not to fluster the medic any further.

"Ano… thank you for the invitation, Itachi-san. But Shizune-senpai is covering for me right now, so I have to get back to finish my rounds. I'll see you all later tonight though. Ja ne!" Sakura waved goodbye to the three older nin and directed a shy smile at Sasuke before heading off towards the hospital.

Sasuke offered the barest nod in response, but allowed his gaze to linger on her back as she walked away before turning towards the compound.

As he picked up the pace to catch up to his brother, he overhead Shisui's deliberately loud musing.

"Hmm Itachi... is it just me, or was our little guy ogling the hell out of Sakura-chan's ass back there?"

Sasuke ripped through a familiar set of hand signs, intent on incinerating every last strand of Shisui's stupid hair.

* * *

With his adrenaline levels tapering off, Sasuke was starting to feel the fatigue from the past three days. All he wanted was to get home, take a hot bath and eat his mother's cooking.

Reflecting on his and Naruto's performance, he still couldn't believe they successfully finished the exam in record time. Now that he'd achieved the first of his recent goals, it was time to man up and finally address the second.

He passed the threshold of his clan's compound with a heavy heart, and was lost in thought when he and the rest of their group reached the gates of the main house.

He didn't need to be told why everyone paused.

A strange ward was added to the perimeter… one that wasn't usually there.

Of course, Itachi dissolved it easily enough. Kunai in hand, they silently opened the front door - and were immediately assaulted with certain… _sounds_ coming from the formal reception room.

A wrecked, low baritone choked out, _"uhnnnnnnnnnnng! Hah.. ha- harder!"_

Shisui's eyes bugged out of his head.

The unmistakable crack of a whip hitting flesh was followed by a terribly familiar lilt.

"That's not how we ask." The sweet voice turned razor sharp. "Ask again. Correctly this time."

"Ha - harder, puh… _pleeeease,_ Hime-sama."

"That's a good boy."

Izumi squeaked helplessly in embarrassment. Her face turned such a startling shade of red, Itachi half feared she might pass out. Without a word, she gave her fiancé a nervous glance before teleporting out of the house.

Her involuntary peep alerted the parties inside of their presence… and after a beat of silence, all anyone heard was the frantic rustling of fabric being shuffled around.

Fully in the throes of a traumatic breakdown, Sasuke didn't even realize he'd opened his mouth to speak until a single word croaked out:

" _Kaa...san_?"

* * *

 **A/N:** I am so grateful for everyone's detailed feedback and engagement with me on my little story! I appreciate your comments more than words can express. As always, if you enjoyed this Ch 4 - kindly let me know through your reviews below! Thank you again for reading~!

P.S. In case anyone's curious, I derived some serious inspiration for this chapter from a gorgeous work of art by creator mallml on tumblr (post 174865519744) I really hope you'll check it out!


	5. Coming Clean

Perhaps it was because she hadn't heard her youngest call out to her in that small, broken tone since he was a little boy. Whatever it was, Mikoto found herself responding almost immediately.

" _Yes, Sasu-chan_?"

Fugaku closed his eyes in defeat.

At the sound of his mother's voice, Sasuke moved forward on autopilot... like he was having some out-of-body experience. No one knew why Itachi didn't stop him, but it was obvious why Shisui wasn't holding him back (he wanted to know what the hell was going on in there).

As Shisui and Itachi followed Sasuke into the formal reception room, their infamous eyes slowly absorbed the scene.

A dark red samurai breastplate and a cheesy looking kabuto helmet was scattered haphazardly in a corner, along with a random katana… and a _whip_.

There were also various layers of silk robes scattered all over the floor, but the mediocre quality of the fabric and the shoddy embroidery didn't align with anything the Uchiha matriarch actually owned herself.

The boys reluctantly met the eyes of their parents. They were sitting a healthy distance apart from one another with a surprising degree of dignity, given the circumstances.

Fugaku faced his sons and nephew bare chested, wearing only his pajama pants. Mikoto wasn't faring much better, as she was haphazardly covered in what appeared to be a jūnihitoe costume (which explained the cheap, colorful layers lying around).

Shisui suddenly shrieked, "Oh shit, THE BOOK!"

All eyes in the room followed his gaze to a copy of _Icha Icha Tactics, Hardcore Edition_ lying open and partly covered by one of the robes on the floor.

Sasuke felt like his brain was throttled with a violent wind jutsu.

Suddenly, it all made sense: the fake samurai armor, the jūnihitoe costume, _star crossed lovers_ ….

The book.

THE BOOK.

 ** _THE BOOK._**

Sasuke blanched as he connected the dots. He was supremely grateful that he hadn't eaten all day because he was fairly certain it would have all come up in a spray of projectile vomit. Itachi may have held onto his usual stoic expression, but his handsome face turned an unmistakable shade of grey.

"Auntie, you're my hero!" Shisui reverently whispered.

Fugaku leveled a hard stare at his nephew. "Out."

He didn't yell, but the patriarch never had to.

Shisui squeaked like an academy school girl, swiftly bowed and shunshin'd his ass out of there.

Fugaku looked to his sons and barked, "Sit."

The brothers immediately obeyed as they assumed their seats in perfect seiza before their parents.

Their father cleared his throat. "This is… unexpected. You are very… _early_."

(Which explained so much).

Knowing that their father was not accustomed to waiting for answers, Itachi cleared his throat and dispassionately relayed the results of the exam.

"Yes, Otou-san. Sasuke successfully passed the exam in record time, and he and Naruto-kun earned the highest number of tactical points out of all the applicants for this cycle."

Fugaku's impassive expression remained, but there was an unmistakable softening of his eyes. He looked to his youngest son, and finally relaxed his shoulders. With pride in his voice he said, "Well done, Sasuke."

Sasuke silently bowed his head in respect, as he had been trained to do since he was a boy.

Mikoto seemed to momentarily table her embarrassment in favor of this impressive news. "Oh my, Sasuke! We are so proud of you. Are you hurt?"

Encouraged, Sasuke responded, "I sprained my ankle, but Sakura already healed me."

Mikoto clasped her hands in front of her chest. "Thank Amaterasu for Sakura-chan! She was waiting for you by the gates, then?"

"Aa."

His mother was about to ask another question when Fugaku gently placed a large hand on his wife's shoulder. "Mikoto, the boy looks tired. He should wash and eat."

This also served as a subtle but clear signal to all that the patriarch had no intention of discussing the elephant in the room.

Not now, or _ever_.

"Ah, ha… of course! Take a hot bath, Sasuke. Food will be ready for you in an hour."

* * *

Upon being dismissed, Itachi led his otouto to his room.

"First, I take it you realize we are not to speak of… _this_ , **ever again**."

Sasuke nodded vigorously. He'd have gladly traded five years of his life to forget what he'd just witnessed downstairs.

Satisfied, Itachi continued. But not before his brother noticed the object he held in his hands.

"I know you are tired Sasuke, but I wanted to give you your jounin gift first."

Sasuke gingerly took the object from his brother and carefully unwrapped it from its black velvet casing.

His eyes widened at what he saw. " _Kusanagi…"_ he breathed. "Nii-san…"

Itachi was known for a number of impressive kills over his storied career, but the one that held particular significance for his family was his defeat of Orochimaru at the age of sixteen.

At the time, the village went haywire when news broke that a teenager had managed to kill the legendary rogue sannin.

But the Uchiha weren't as hung up on Itachi's age. He was a remarkable prodigy, after all. Still, this kill was especially meaningful to the clan because everyone within the compound knew of Orochimaru's attempt to kidnap little Sasuke when he was just three years old… an attempt that was spectacularly foiled by a then eight year old Itachi.

Itachi never forgot the night Orochimaru tried to take his precious otouto away. As far as his eight year old self was concerned, the snake sannin signed his own death warrant by trying to abduct Sasuke, and the fiercely protective older brother in him vowed to be the one to defeat him.

Upon killing Orochimaru, the young ANBU operative divested the sannin's corpse of the legendary Kusanagi, and brought it back to the Sandaime.

" _Tell me Weasel, what should I do with this sword?" The Sandaime asked thoughtfully to his youngest ANBU captain._

" _Whatever you determine will be in the best interests of the village, Hokage-sama." The boy murmured respectfully, holding the weapon out with both hands._

" _If it was up to you, what would you do with it?"_

 _The young captain took off his mask and looked at his Hokage with determination in his eyes. "I would entrust the sword to Sasuke."_

 _The Sandaime smiled. "Be sure to have an uchiwa engraved onto the hilt, and make it so."_

Itachi calmly relayed this past exchange to his otouto, noticing how his eyes grew incrementally wider as he took the story in.

"Nii-san… But… are you _sure_? Shouldn't _you_ – " Sasuke was quietly, but firmly, cut off by his brother.

"I always believed that you would be strong enough to wield this, and I was right. The only other people that know about this are Kakashi-senpai, who was in the Sandaime's office with me at the time… and Otou-san." Sasuke felt himself suck in a quiet breath at this revelation.

Itachi continued. "They both believe you are the best shinobi in the village to be entrusted with this, as do I. Kakashi-senpai has kept us apprised of your progress with lightening nature manipulation. Kusanagi can be a powerful extension of that, don't you think?"

Sasuke looked down for a beat, but soon lifted his head to meet his brother's eyes with wonder and gratitude. Itachi's stoic façade relaxed into a soft smile. He slowly lifted his right hand and poked his otouto's forehead with his index and middle finger.

"Master this weapon and use it to protect your precious people… and our village."

"I will. Arigatou, Nii-san…"

* * *

When Sasuke and his brother arrived at the Yumei Lounge with Izumi later that night, they found the bar already packed to capacity.

While they hadn't arrived more than a half hour late, Naruto was already six sheets to the wind, loudly bragging and pointing at the customized jounin flack vest he was proudly wearing.

" ** _Theeemeeeeeeeeee!_** Finally! Thook you long enough to thtyle that _thtoopid_ duck-butt hair!"

Sasuke briefly wondered why the idiot was speaking with a whistled lisp until he remembered (with deep internal satisfaction) that his best friend was still missing some of his front teeth. In his drunkenness, the moron had completely lost his ability to speak properly.

"Hey hey! Theee thith? Ithts my awthome jounin gifth from Hinatha-chyan dathebayo!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and pushed another mystery shot that he pulled from a passing server's tray into his best friend's sweaty palm.

Of course, Naruto being Naruto – downed the shot without a second thought (or a first thought) and then proceeded to challenge an equally inebriated Kiba to a karaoke battle.

Shaking his head, Sasuke snaked his way through the crowd, nodding every once in a while at the congratulatory messages and pats on the back he received from his peers, when he spotted a familiar head of gravity defying silver hair.

"Glad to see you made it, Sasuke. Don't party too hard, though. Making jounin doesn't mean training's over."

"Hn. I already know that, old man."

"Mah mah, I'm not old. Just well preserved."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but they both knew it was only half hearted.

"I'll give you tomorrow off, but the day after that we're going to resume training bright and early."

Sasuke nodded curtly in assent.

"Training ground 6, 8:00AM. _Bring your Kusanagi_." Then, with his signature eye crinkle, Kakashi suddenly poofed away. The only evidence that he was ever there was the sound of Yamato yelling from across the room,

" _But senpai! What about your tab?!"_

Sasuke snorted. Typical Kakashi.

The more random well wishers he passed, the more cranky he got. Sure, the recognition was nice. But the bar was getting uncomfortably warm, and listening to Naruto screech out a lispy chorus to some shitty pop song for the third time was going to give him an aneurysm.

He really only came to this stupid party for one reason… and she happened to be the only person he had yet to see.

Until he finally did.

Sasuke finally, _finally_ saw a shock of pink in the crowd. It looked like a beacon was walking towards him from the direction of the women's bathroom. The masses seemed to part as he finally honed in on his female teammate -

and his mouth would have fallen open if he was a lesser man.

There Sakura stood, wearing the shortest, tiniest scrap of silk masquerading as a dress that he'd ever seen. The bold green jewel tone of the delicate fabric clung to her curves, draping over her breasts and backside, accentuating every irresistible slope and dip. Her voluminous pink locks spilled over her back in waves, and her long legs ended in a pair of sky high, strappy nude stiletto sandals.

Someone to Sakura's right pointed, turning her attention to Sasuke. And just when he thought his girlfriend couldn't look any more radiant, she proved him wrong by giving him the most brilliant smile.

Slowly but surely, she began walking towards him… ignoring the advances of others; moving closer and closer until she was finally standing right in front of him.

"I wasn't sure you were coming, Sasuke-kun. I'm so glad you made it." To his immense satisfaction, she leaned forward and whispered breathily in his ear, "I hope you like my dress. I bought it Just. For. You."

Sasuke felt a familiar heat warming the tips of his ears. He didn't trust his voice not to crack, but finally managed to mutter, "I like it."

While most women would have been peeved by such a sparse compliment, Sakura just giggled.

"I thought you might," she said shyly, before moving her hand cautiously towards his own.

Sasuke knew what she was doing. She was letting him know she was about to hold his hand. But in typical considerate Sakura fashion, she was thinking about his feelings and his comfort levels; wanting to make sure he was okay with this public display of affection, and giving him an out if he wasn't.

Sasuke finally took stock of where he was and everyone around them. The endless eyeballs in the room that were glued to her face and figure, his family, their friends and colleagues… everyone he knew and cared about was here and would see…

And to Sakura's surprise, this realization only emboldened him. With conviction in his eyes, Sasuke was actually the one who closed the distance and wrapped her small hand into his own. He leaned in close to whisper,

" _Thank you, Sakura."_

* * *

Sasuke couldn't tell you how much longer they were at the bar. For the rest of the night, he was caught up in his own little bubble with Sakura – curling his larger hand into her own, or holding his long, calloused fingers to the small of her back while he navigated them through the crowds. And it didn't take long for Izumi's razor sharp eyes and those of everyone else to pick up on this development.

When the crowd heard a very drunk Shisui deviate from his karaoke prompt to suddenly scream out, **"My auntie is the undisputed OG!"** Itachi and Izumi decided it was time to go.

As Izumi dragged a giddy Shisui off the stage, Itachi discreetly pulled Sasuke aside while Sakura helped Hinata pull bits of dried squid and empty umaibo wrappers out of the various pockets of a now passed out Naruto's brand new flack vest.

"We'll pack up your gifts in a scroll and take them home for you… in case you won't be returning with us." Before Sasuke could offer up some feeble denial, Itachi was already gone.

Moments later, he felt Sakura's small hand softly squeeze his shoulder.

"Hinata mentioned that Itachi-san and Izumi-san were kind enough to pack up all your jounin gifts… But I still haven't given you mine."

He looked down to meet Sakura's adoring face. "You didn't need to get me anything."

"Are you sure you don't want my gift? It's not something anyone can buy. It's more like something I thought you wanted to try… _together_ _."_

Sasuke's mouth suddenly went bone dry and he swallowed thickly. She gently placed her hands on his chest and reached up to whisper against his lips, _"Does page 121 ring a bell?"_

* * *

Basking in the afterglow of the single most astonishing night of passion he'd ever experienced in his young life, Sasuke felt his erratic heartbeat and labored breathing finally start to level out as Sakura's palm traced lazy circles on his chest.

As his mental faculties slowly returned, he finally remembered that small, minor question that vaguely popped up in the back of his head when they first teleported back to her apartment a few hours earlier.

"Sakura."

"Hmm?"

"How… how did you - "

Sakura cut him off with a giggle. Which meant she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Well, I read your book… I snuck it into my medical pouch that day, after… _you know_."

The back of Sasuke's neck burrrrrrrned with the heat of a thousand suns. And then he nearly shot up in bed as he realized something supremely awful _._

 _If Sakura secretly swiped his copy of Icha Icha and had it in her possession this whole week, then the copy the elder's discovered… and the book they caught his parents with must have belonged to -_

Ohhhhh, for fuck's sake.

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut, as if that would make the horrific realization he just had go away.

"Sasuke-kun? Are you alright?"

Sasuke willed his eyes open and tried to brush off his momentary breakdown. "Aa. It's just… you didn't tell me."

"Why would I? It was supposed to be a surprise! I wanted to do the things you earmarked because… I figured those were the ones you were most interested in. This was your jounin _gift_ , remember? Recipients aren't supposed to know about gifts in advance."

"But there were… a few..."

Sakura actually laughed out loud at that, to his chagrin. "Sasuke-kun, there were a LOT." And in her typical annoying fashion, she kept on snickering.

"But… how - why... _that_ one."

That shut her up for some reason, and her voice dropped to a level that she knew he found irresistible. "That one seemed special because it was the only one with a star marked next to it."

Sakura sighed as his entire body tensed at this disclosure. "Oh come on, Sasuke-kun. It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I'm not embarrassed," he spat, convincing no one. "It's just… I was just curious… how it worked. In an academic way, of course… because it shouldn't be possible." He tried his best to sound serious, but still refused to meet her gaze.

Sakura decided not to tease him further and responded matter-of-factly.

"You're right. It isn't possible for most people. But there is a way to make it work, _if you have perfect chakra control._ "

At that, Sasuke whipped his head to stare at her in wonder. "Wait – you've done this before?"

Sakura huffed in annoyance. "What are you talking about? Stop being crazy. Of course not!"

"Then how did you know it would work?"

Sakura blushed furiously and started fiddling with one of his nipples. She was disappointed to find that it wasn't as distracting for him as it usually was, because Sasuke only gave her a look of impatience, pushing her to elaborate.

"Fine! It was… ugh _,_ Shishou told me _._ "

Sasuke gaped as he swatted her hand away. "Are you _crazy_?! You asked the _Hokage_ about this?!"

"Relaaaaax Sasuke-kun, it's no big deal… I swear! She's the one who's always getting sloshed and blabbing about this sort of thing to me and Shizune-senpai."

Sasuke blinked hard in disbelief. He really didn't know how to take this. Knowing that the Hokage was getting wasted and filling his girlfriend's head with all kinds of kinky…

 _Actually, maybe it wasn't the worst thing in the world._

Suddenly (unfortunately), a random conversation he overheard once between Kakashi and the idiot came to mind.

" _As interesting and thrilling as this all is, even I know that Icha Icha isn't completely realistic."_

 _An indignant Naruto vehemently disagreed. "It is too, old man! Ero-sennin may be a super duper pervert but he's a shinobi of the Leaf, and he has principles, dattebayo! He personally tested everything he writes about, and he wouldn't include anything in his books that wasn't true!"_

Sasuke mentally put two and two together. So, if the Pervy Sage had personally tested all of these positions (shudder), but the particularly awesome one he and Sakura tried tonight required **_perfect chakra control_** that to his knowledge, _only one other person in the village had_ , then…

Sasuke blanched.

Call him an insensitive jerk, but he really was NOT AT ALL interested in the… relations of the elderly (or anyone else for that matter).

He was pulled from this repellent train of thought by the sound of Sakura taking something out of her nightstand. She tapped him lightly on the nose with a _soup ladle_ as she straddled him suggestively.

"You know, there are a few other earmarked pages that we haven't gotten to yet… care to give them a go?"

And for the nth time that night, Sasuke thanked every deity there was for the incomparable kunoichi in his arms, and lost himself to bliss.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** And that's the end of Guilty, folks! Thank you so much to everyone who kindly took the time to leave a comment/review for these revised chapters! I also wanted to extend my special thanks and appreciation those who read this fic a year ago, but still took the time to revisit this a second time around!~ Also, I wanted folks to know: the flashback in this chapter that references Orochimaru's attempted abduction of little Sasuke was inspired by a scene in one of my all time favorite Non-massacre ItaSaku fics called The Way of the Wind by justenough. This story is phenomenal, and I really hope you'll give this beloved ItaSaku classic a read if you haven't already!


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